DEPRESSION

Start this article on 08/12/2017, I do not use scientific instruments, authors, or any other form of knowledge, alias I only use my feelings ... my heart.I do not intend or format it, my intention is to cast it directly, bluntly, without re-reading, with the sole purpose of describing the feelings that disturb me. After all writing for me is an escape valve and I believe everyone should have yours.Depression for me is a feeling of persistent sadness that wants to sink all the esteem of the individual, we are always our worst enemies, our greatest discrediters, we disturb the environment in which we live with low energies.I became a mechanic, in the sense of sadness being consolidated in everything I think, and in this sense working was escaping the internal reflection that leads me to suffer. I lived for work, I breathed the activity, the production. For to stop to think it hurts, even if without reason the reasoning directed to my person made me suffer, makes me.Funny before starting this text my feelings were able to produce endless quantities on this theme, I feel that my exhaust is still efficient, but I can not write at all times and use me of this valve in all environments.My feeling transcends adolescence and remits my childhood, I have always observed myself as someone who suffers too much, who has less energy, who is undervalued, who hides himself because he is afraid to be labeled in the wrong way, because what I feel really does not matter. , 99% of people and make suffer 0.01% of the people in the universe to which I belong. I realize, however, that even for the people who are close to me and who know some of the complexity of my being, I have already become a heavy burden.In my ignorance I allow myself to observe the passing of the years without having the strength to change, although I am not sure in the actual commitment to the duty to change. I feel deep frustration of people towards my sadness, but my self-esteem is insufficient to boost me and prove otherwise.I believe that happy people are simply joyful for being, just as I am sad for the simple fact of being.Brain mechanisms are embodied in our actions, we receive information at all times and we interpret in the most diverse ways, the depressive person feels overly judged, and therefore must move away from people with judgmental instincts, people who usurp energy, but at the same time I feel attached to these people and neutralize myself almost instantly.The depressed feels ill, because he is judged intensely and no matter how much he does and does not feel valued, his burden may be his knowledge, his convictions are bombarded because we underestimate him even to what we are most certain, and in the same way our doubts become bigger and more intense, and so can also be underestimated and no longer dubious to be real or nonexistent.The depressive, therefore, has no conviction, has only sadness and an intense desire to change, to change his essence because he comes to believe that his self is his worst enemy.We live in a world of profound changes and recoveries, the depressive accustoms the charges and know for precaution know if to defend emotionally, but the changes break the depressive, throw them to the bottom of the well.

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